Darkness was my companion this morning as I raced towards work. Playlists for my podcasts decided to stay behind at home.. So I was just accompanied the wonderful Delirium’s ‘Poem’ album as a soundtrack for my silence. As light now reaches into the evening the suns rays are still cast away in the morning.. It gives me more rest to thing and wonder about the things of life.

And I have plenty to think about. As Babylon is turned upside down I feel brotherly bonds slipping away as if they where never tied. I feel myself still in the shadow of the little kid that stayed behind as his brothers went about their business. Only now the chessboard is set up differently. While one just leaves me out of the whole debacle.. The others is hiding from me. Where I once thought courage and honor was his greatest virtue, the only things I see now are coward ness and fear. Fear of what ? The truth that will eventually catch up with all of us ? The shadow of ones soul that one can never run or hide from ? Is that it ? Am I cast out of this whole scenario because the ‘little brother’ might just have that one insight, that one comment where macho-ism , self pity and intimidation have no defense against ? Its hard to be locked out by ones brother only because they don’t seem to care .. Or because they are afraid of what you have to say.

And on the other hand it makes me proud, angry… and even feel apathy for the whole situation. Babylon is becoming a ruined battleground to which I am untying myself before it drags me to the bottom.

Enough … Today I found something that might fit right in my alley . Only this week I was thinking about ditching our windows server and going for a Linux alternative. Today this article was posted http://www.flexbeta.net/main/printarticle.php?id=88 Since I have found a copy of Suse Enterprise server 7.3 at the local second hand shop for 5 euro.. its worth a try. Tc did another show at spacemusic.nl today http://libsyn.com/media/spacemusic/spacemusic-2005-03-29.mp3 and it was great to chill out on this music. Especially the whole matrix dub in the beginning is great ! One of the bloggs I read up on http://www.livejournal.com/users/bois_inside/ has a pretty entry about girl/girl love and passion. Its wonderful to see the wanting and the fulfillment love can give. (are you narrow minded ? don’t click) All of us just look for happiness. In advance I can only say I’m going to be sick this weekend. Sunday at sever o’clock I am going to HAVE to see the doctor http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/ Its amazing how aunty beeb has done it again. The whole Doctor Who concept has been re-invented once again in this very 90”s re-incarnation of every ones favorite timelord. So I’m having kittens over this J Star trek Enterprise is going into its final episode http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/news/article/9996.html Because NO-One gives a ratts ass about this spin-off they decided to cancel it after four seasons (and it was a disgrace to the Roddenbery legacy anyway. ) To get some viewers a lame cameo for Riker and Troy has been thought up , of course the Holodeck is involved (typical for Rick Bermans lack of imagination) “The series finale is called "These Are the Voyages ..." and it's probably no secret by now that this last episode of the Star Trek prequel features two very special guest stars: Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis.” I will of course watch it.. Just to toast to Archers demise !. I’m however worried for the continuation of the Star Trek legacy. I hope this is not forever the end of my fan-cultus… (worried frown). Well , There is always an alternative : After podcasting you can try http://www.antisnottv.net/ Videoblogging. From what I’ve seen so far… I’m not overly impressed but hey… Where else on TV can you see a girl having her period ! (I was not taken in by that videoblogg). Until next time !

When Easter comes.

Yep , Easter weekend has come and gone and has left me with a craving for more time at home. After solving a rather complicated problem at a clients home Saturday morning we went out for a lovely walk in the town of Hasselt. Browsing through the high street made us realize just how much we feel at home in this province capital. Afterwards we lingered around in the city park and went for a sit in one of the swings there :). Just sitting in the sun.. feeling at home in a town where no one knows your name. That’s just about the greatest place I could call my home. I sometimes astound myself at how this country boy has swapped his small town where everybody knows everything about everyone for an urban lifestyle. But it went like a charm. Sunday we lounged out and watched some tv, went to my parents place, chatted with my mother who was home for the afternoon and made a bee-line for my aunts place. Once again I came to the wonderful conclusion that I am indeed a commodity in the family. The slightest techno-problem is reason enough to call me. But when major things happen in our family .. There is absolutely no reason to call me . I'm really getting fed up with that ! I not only FEEL like a commodity.. I AM a commodity. A 'service', a "help desk". And then people wonder why we crawl back in our protective social bubble in that far away place Hasselt ? Well my dears : It isn't even far enough away from all my roots ! As Babylon drifts apart I feel myself breaking free from the ropes that tie me down in that place.. And i am not too sorry.. But enough about that. Time is so sparse these day's I haven't had time to meet up with some old friends and I do hope we will be able to change this soon. In the back of my head the plans for our marriage are silently brooding.. Unable to seed due to the fact that the social soil is shifting and sanding. Our plans range from an intimate party .. to a mid sized reception-thing. My own family is gambling away their places on the guest list and the social minefield that is brooding because of that is something I do not want to wade through. I run for my Island of peace. Where world events come in over digital lines.. Where RSS feeds never fail to let me know when something changes. Where conversation is digital and where skype chimes in the friendly words from afar. Where cappuccino brings peace and her soothing hands run over the small of my back. Where a purring cat luls me to sleep and the gentle hum of an Ibook breaks the silence of my thoughts. Where a web cam spreads and brings smiles of joy and where Babylon is but a far away place in a troublesome dream. 

well , those of you who visit this blog through www.knightwise.com : Welcome :) As you can see the contents of the blog are now 'parsed' onto the main website. Unfortunately the pictures are not working yet :( Some bizarre reason is the source of this. Sometimes it works other times it does not.. ) I presume the reason is that the pictures are stored on hello.com and they do not allow hot linking. Back to the drawing board i guess. At least we've made some headway.

Yesterday was a nice day at school. Although I was preparing myself for utter despair because of the big 'task' we have to do, it all turned out pretty fine. Me and the Swifter crunched the numbers and got part of the job done in a jiffy. Especially using my Ibook to connect to the routers over TELNET (and thus using my 'unix-terminal' in OSX was way cool) Just sitting there with my little white precious made me feel like i was lightyears ahead of the rest in matters of techno gizzmo's. Despair wil probably strike next week as we fall back when the going gets tough.

But then there is always my other white buddy to keep me company. Its amazing how much I have dragged my Ipod around these last few months. Constantly listening to music, podcasts, even ocean sounds.. Anything to surround me with the protective bubble of sounds. Within that bubble I live in a small world of my own.. where Slashdot headlines or daily source codes make up the news and events instead of the radio news. Within that bubble I look at the world around me with my own soundtrack of life playing on the background. Strange how music makes you look differently ath the things around you .. and how it changes your mood. ... Yesterday... Headphones on.. Ambient Cafe del Mar tunes buzzing away on the background and just looking at the people around me. Thoughts, emotions, memories, impressions.. everything soothed by the gentle ambient tones.. As I crawl up in the protective ball of my own thoughts .. my Ipod generates a musical force field around me... And then I find my true peace.

And at that “mare tranquilatis” the waves of my emotions gently stroke the banks of my mind.. the urge to write comes as wel. Its fascinating how I have become accustomed to this blog. How I like writing down my thoughts and impressions .. How I feel the urge to be creative and express mysellf. Its like its bubbling inside of me and all I can do is let the words, thoughts and sounds flow out. As the dawn shoves the gentle mist over the rolling hills.. my steel chariot pierces the void around me. Hurling towards my next destination.. and but a speck on the radar of eternity.. I feel that these last few months have been good to me. Shure I don't like being away from home so much and I do wish I could settle down more. But then again.. this is who I am .. A hedon. Always on the run. Always the traveler. Perpetual mobility in a flowing universe. My thoughts and feelings only emerge like shy shadows when the people are gone and there is no one around. The come sit on my shoulder and whisper themselves in my ear. And as my momentum carries me over the sandy desert of time.. I sometimes wonder what the reality is ? Am i moving over the gentle slope of the planet.. Or is life rushing me by as I stand still on the sidelines. Wondrous is the silence that lets one ponder these questions...